


A Good Reason to Cry

by chillychillywilly



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Angst, Lots Of Sad, M/M, cartoonz is there but at the same time he isn't, sad doggo too, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 06:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9706691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chillychillywilly/pseuds/chillychillywilly
Summary: Luke knew the truth. He could feel it burning in the back of his mind, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it or deny it, it was going to be there, and there wasn't a thing he could do about it.





	

Luke sits on the bed next to Ryan, watching the smaller lay awake staring at the ceiling blankly, with tears flowing from his tired eyes. He shakes his head in disapproval, leaning back against the headboard. “It's almost three in the morning,” he says, breaking the silence. “Why you still up?” 

There's no response, just a small sniffle as Ryan tries to wipe the tears away, though his soaked sleeve does nothing to help. Luke frowns at this, wishing he had the courage to reach over and wipe the tears for himself. But he knew Ohm wasn't much for physical contact, especially at times like these. He preferred his personal space, and Luke was going to respect that. 

So he smiles the best he can, and speaks. “Come on, what's there to cry about in the middle of the night? It better be worth being tired as fuck tomorrow,” he tries to joke. Any hint of happiness is seemingly lost within the darkness of their bedroom, though, because his half-assed joke doesn't help Ryan at all. 

Ryan whimpers lightly, hugging a pillow to his chest. Buddy whimpers alongside him, trying to comfort his owner. And Luke's cat, from her spot at Luke's feet, opens her eyes, watching Ryan with curiosity. Ryan rolls over onto his stomach, tugging the covers around him tightly, almost like a little cocoon. 

“Ry? Babe… Come on,” Luke says, watching his boyfriend sob into the pillow. “There's nothing to cry about right now, a’ight? Go back to bed, and it'll be better in the morning.”

Ryan doesn't respond, instead he continues to sob helplessly into the now wet pillow. Luke reaches out to comfort him, only for Ryan to squirm around until he was fully hidden in the blankets. Luke withdraws his hand, feeling a bit of guilt wash over him. 

This was his fault, wasn't it? Was Ryan mad at him or something? 

Deep down, Luke knew the truth. He could feel it twisting and turning inside of him, he could hear the little voice in the back of his head hissing at him to accept what he did, and his current relationship with Ryan. 

He could also hear the little voice in the back of his head reminding him of how he shouldn't even be here right now. 

So he takes a deep breath, pats Ryan's back the best he can, and leaves the room. He would come back in the morning to check on Ryan, but for now he needed his space. 

It's a little after ten when Ryan trudges downstairs, wrapped up in one of Luke's old sweatshirts. Luke sits up from where he had been, sprawled out across the couch watching some dumb romance movie Ryan had left on, and watches as Ryan turns off the television. 

“Dumbass, leaving the tv on,” he grumbles. “So fucking stupid, I swear. Luke, why didn't you tell me I left it on last night?” He sets the remote down on the coffee table, sighing to himself as he puts his shoes on, then grabbing Buddy's leash and calling for his dog. Ryan puts the leash on, then opens the door and leaves, Luke right behind them, nearly getting the door shut in his face. 

“Where we going?” Luke has no idea why Ryan seems to be so moody and upset today, or why Buddy keeps glancing in his direction with big, sad eyes. 

“We're going to the flower shop, guys. It's… it's over here, right?” Ryan sounds unsure as he turns a corner, walking in what Luke knows to be the complete opposite direction. 

“Babe, it's the other way,” Luke tries to point out, though his words seem to go unheard. He gets no response, not even that stubborn look Ryan used to give him when he didn't want to admit he was wrong. He frowns a bit, but follows along anyways. 

Ryan eventually comes to realize his mistake, and huffs in frustration. “Luke, why didn't you tell me anything?” Buddy whines as Ryan suddenly turns back around, beginning to walk in the right direction. 

Luke says nothing, feeling the tension in the air around them. He silently follows Ryan into the flower shop, watching as Ryan buys a bouquet of daisies, all of them varying shades of red or pink. The florist behind the counter smiles brightly at Ryan, who only offers a weary smile in response. 

“Special occasion?” It's an attempt to make light conversation from the florist, who fixes up the bouquet and ties a nice ribbon around it.   
Ryan laughs weakly and shrugs. “You can say that.” 

The florist laughs heartily, oblivious to Ryan's emotions. Luke feels a bit of anger swell within him, and the urge to hug Ryan only grows as he watches Ryan walk out the shop, looking like he was about to cry. 

The three walk along, Ryan leading the way. They cross a few streets, go past the park and the coffee shop where they had their first date, and even Ryan's favorite book store. Buddy trots along, staying close to his owner's side, occasionally nudging Ryan's leg whenever Ryan stopped.

When they come to the entrance of a cemetery, Luke has to take a deep, deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. He knows what's coming, he knows what's going on and why Ryan lead them here, and the truth is now surrounding Luke in the form of cold, bleary tombstones and Ryan's tears that have begun to fall once more. 

With every step they take, Ryan seems to break down more and more, both Luke and Ryan not knowing what to do. At one point, they finally stop walking, coming to a stop in front of one particular grave. 

Luke doesn't know what to say as he watches Ryan break down, shaking and crying and sniffling in front of the grave, which is covered in wilting flowers and a few other things, like pictures and a ring. Buddy whines again, this time a more mournful, longing noise as he paws at the stone, laying down next to it sadly. 

Ryan tries to laugh, though the noise is so broken and forced Luke's positive that it's anything but a laugh. “I miss him too, Buddy… I miss him too. And I'm sure he misses you too,” he whispers, sitting on the ground to comfort his pet. 

He stares at the tombstone for a moment, before leaning against it and wiping his teary eyes. “You're a piece of shit, Luke, y-you know that? I lov- love you, so fucking much,” he chokes out. “For fuck’s sake… I still talk to you. I still talk to my boyfriend who's dead, Luke. I still talk to you like you're here and I forget that you're gone sometimes, and it hurts. It hurts so much, Luke.” 

Ryan's crying hysterically now, showing no signs of stopping anytime soon. Luke tries to reach out and grab him, to comfort him, but it doesn't work. His hand goes straight into Ryan, no contact being made at all. Ryan doesn't feel a thing. 

Luke wants to scream. He wants to stomp on the ground and yell and shout about how he was right here, and how it would be okay and how Ryan didn't need to be so fucking sad. He wanted to hug Ryan and wipe his tears away and cover him in kisses so he knows it's all okay. 

But… it wasn't okay. 

Luke was dead. He couldn't do a thing, no matter how hard he tried, or what he did. There was no use in throwing a fit if it wasn't going to do anything, it seemed. There was just nothing he could do about this. So he sits besides Ryan and Buddy, and has no choice but to watch the two cry over his death.


End file.
